Who Is That Girl?

The other day I was waxing my eyebrows and when I finished, I gave myself a hard look over in the mirror. Let's face it. The mirror does not lie. There was someone looking back at me that I did not recognize. 'Who is that girl?' I thought. I looked deep into her eyes. Wait a minute. That really was me in that mirror.  There was barely a resemblance of myself in there. It is just that the girl I had known is long gone.

 

You see there was once this girl who was strong, physically and mentally. The Melissa I once knew could do anything. She had enough energy and stamina to work days on end, but not this girl. This girl can barely load the dishwasher before she is drained of energy, and she is only 38 years old. The old Melissa loved to dance. She even taught dance. When she danced, the problems of her world seemed to disappear with each step of the foot and with stretch of the arm. This girl in the mirror dares even to think of dancing anymore. The mere thought of what she once loved so deeply hurts to the core, physically and mentally.  So many facets of the "old Melissa" are gone but not forgotten. The "new Melissa" remembers each and every part that was, and sometimes longs for "that girl."

 

When I look at the girl in the mirror I see that life has taken its toll on her. A life of hurt and struggle shows in her eyes. The years of turmoil while her husband was an alcoholic has worn her down. Years of doing it all herself and going ninety-to-nothing has done nothing but harm to her. The physical stress her body has been through the past few years has beaten her beauty.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised." Proverbs 30:31

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder, "Who is that?" I think we all, guys and gals, face the issue at some point in our life, whether it be the physical side or the emotional side of us. One day you wake up and you don't look or feel so 20'ish anymore, or one day you wake up and realize life may be getting the best of you. Either way, a good self-examination is sometimes needed for a reality check or a good come-to-Jesus meeting, or both.

 

I am thankful that I examined that girl in the mirror for more than what I saw on the surface of her reflection. I am thankful, in some ways, that I am not the same Melissa I used to be. I'm thankful that I'm growing in the Lord and that I have learned the truly important things in life. I am thankful that my heart has softened and so many other ways that God has changed my heart over the years. I am thankful that I am learning that I cannot do it all.

More and more each day God gives me more peace with the path He has me walking. I am working on two years of learning to accept the "girl in the mirror". I am thankful that my story is God's story and that I am hopefully giving Him glory by putting it into words.