How in the world can one family be prone to so many un-normal happenings in less than two years? Is it just the Pedens? I mean, is everybody else so prideful, wait, I mean, private (sorry, I apologize already), that they just don't share the junk that goes on in their lives? Are we the only family with an open book policy? Or are we really the only family that this junk happens to?
This is something I have never figured out, yet something I have been so very guilty of in the past. Since I was raised a good little Baptist girl, I, of course, had "my pew" in church that I sat on Sunday after Sunday dying on the inside just wishing someone would stop and ask me "how I was doing." The truth is, they did. What did I do? I put on a smile, and said, "Good, how are you?" Why did I not just break down and tell them how it really was at home? Pride? Shame? Fear of rejection? I don't know.
I learned in group therapy for families of alcoholics how to share my story. It got easier and easier to share. I began to realize my story, though far less tragic than some I had heard, really hit home with other members of the group. I could see it on his face or see a tear rolling down her cheek even though a word did not come from their mouths. More often than not there were "meetings after the meetings" outside where there were no guidelines and we could speak freely with each other. It was in those meetings where I realized my story was helping others make it to the next chapter in their stories. And that was when I started healing.
"Bill" was a genius when he penned in the Big Blue Book that sharing and service was the key to healing and sobriety. But long before "Bill" put it down for alcoholics, God spoke through Paul as he wrote to the Corinthians.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comforts, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
This is one of the most healing and freeing scriptures in the Bible to me. Other than living in a fallen world, which honestly gives me no comfort, this gives me a real reason for hurting. This scripture basically says that we experience hurt so we can experience comfort from God. Then in return, when someone is in our path that is hurting the same way, we can share that same comfort (and God) with them. God is the real genius! He created us to share!
When God revealed this passage to me, He let me know my suffering was not, is not, in vain. We are not meant to live this life alone. You never know who is "sitting on the pew" beside you, and by that I mean who God is putting in your path, to comfort with your story. It doesn't have to be a horrific story. It could be you made it through a tough time with your teenager that you thought was no big deal. Sally, however, has never experienced anything like that and she thought she was the "only one in the world" who could not manage her child. She felt like a failure as mother. But when you shared how you made it through with a God, you helped her find a new outlook AND you helped the teenager, too! Now see what sharing can do? What if you were prideful about that and had kept your mouth shut because you thought you were a failure, too? Guess what. We all fall short!
It is my conclusion that sharing your life is the best way to live. Yes, it means putting yourself out there and having everyone knowing your dark side. Well, I have another conclusion. Everybody knows your business anyway whether you choose to believe that or not! And yes, it also means that you have to swallow some pride and admit your faults to the world. Just remember, no one is perfect. I have said it before and I will say it again. My life is an open book. (On a side note, I hope to get that book in print one day!) I will also say this. It took time. It has taken a long time to be so open and honest, but it has also taken a long time to heal as well.
Apparently, my story is far from being over. God keeps adding chapters so fast that I can't seem to keep up. I ain't sayin' it's easy, and ain't sayin' I like it. But, as long as He keeps waking me up each morning, then I will continue to share my story because that is what He has told me to do. Through that honesty and boldness that I have only acquired through reliance on Him, I hope to "share the comfort" that He has given and continues to give me each day.
So, what's your story? Feel like sharing?
I found out a long time ago, that it really doesnt do any good to complain. I also answer the question of How are You, as I am good. Why not be good, crap happens every single day, just a part of real life. Why not try and make it all good, why not do what we can to make the best of every single moment of life, good or bad. We all have tragic stories, I used to think that no one could possibly have it as bad as me, then I realized, some have it far worse. When I answer I am good, that is because I know it could be so much worse. I refrain from complaining or telling my stories because I do not want to upset anyone else, and I dang sure do not want someone sitting back saying "if you think you got it tough, let me tell you about this". It is not a matter of pride or privacy that I keep things to myself, just sparing others of something that might cause them pain.
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