"School days. School days. Good ole golden school days." I can remember my momma singing this when it was getting time for school each year. Naturally, I have tortured my children with the same nagging tune, too. As parents it is one of the few luxuries we get. My momma never really told me if she was excited about school starting back each year, or at least I have no memory of her talking about it. But I know I was excited! I could not wait for the next school year to begin because that meant I got nine months of friends and a social life outside of my house walls! Around my house, when it came to school, I was on my own. I did my own thing. I did my own homework. I made my own schedules. I did it all, except for before I had my driver's license and needed momma to drive me somewhere. To me, it was nine months of freedom. To momma, well, I'm not sure what it meant to her.
We as parents get nine months of school, homework, ballgames, and endless chauffeuring, but we also get nine months of hard life teaching with our teaching kids. I have tried to do my best through the years to always play devil's advocate when it comes to my kids. When they come complaining about a friend or a teacher, usually my first question is "what did you do to cause this?" or "what was your part in this?" Without saying so, it drove them crazy because they thought I was immediately taking the other side. I just like to know the whole story before I start accusing another child or giving advice, the wrong advice. That's the legal side in me. Knowing all sides of the story is important. It saves you from having to eat crow pie when you have confronted another parent accusing her child of saying something when it was your child that picked the fight in the first place. Most always it turns out that my girls have not been totally innocent in the situation as their little hearts would have like to have believed. Imagine that. Teaching opportunity for them. Learning opportunity for me. Actually, most of my learning came from experiences with Shelli's friendships. Now I get to apply them to Marli and learn some more I expect.
My girls are no stranger to hardship and heart ache. Reminding them that every person has her own story is usually not hard to explain. I have tried to teach them that the reason someone is acting the way she is may possibly because of what is happening in her life at home. She just may not be telling you the story. She may be embarrassed. She may be too hurt. She may be too scared to tell anyone. You never know. Basically, I have tried to teach compassion to my girls and to the little ones coming up. Because after all, we want compassion shown to us, right?
Marli is entering the eighth grade this year, and I am not looking forward to all the complex problems she will face. I see her growing in her relationship with Christ, though, so I am looking forward to the teachable moments I am going to have with her. I have tried to get a good list going of "ready-to-use Scripture" to have on hand to stop yip-yapping in its tracks. I told her that I do not want her to bring that home this year. Those things are better left outside our door, as are most things. I know with her having a phone this will be impossible to monitor totally, but at least in our conversations, we will discuss it and end it, and hopefully she will leave the conversation having heard something to make her grow.
I made a list of Scriptures from Proverbs that are pretty straight forward and are easily memorized. These were some of my favorites as I skimmed the book. I added my own commentary in parenthesis. I have more from other books, but for time purposes I am sharing just the Proverbs list. If you would like the others, leave your email in the comments and I will be happy to email them to you.
Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up strife but love covers all sins. (Always wear your Jesus glasses and see others with love.)
Proverbs 12:22 - Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are his delight. (Always tell the truth even when you have blame in the matter. Always.)
Proverbs 12:26 - The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Choose godly friends, not just popular friends.)
Proverbs 13:20 - He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. (Be careful who your friends are.)
Proverbs 15:3 - The eyes of the LORD are in every place, watching what on the evil and the good. (Momma will find out the truth!)
Proverbs 16:25 - There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. (You can have fun without compromising your faith and without breaking the rules. I promise!)
Proverbs 17:5 - He who mocks the poor reproaches his maker; He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. (Don't you DARE make fun of someone who appears to have less than you do. AND When someone gets in trouble, I would not advise smiling and rejoicing. It could be you next!)
Proverbs 17:14 - The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore, stop the contention before the quarrel starts. (Be the one who says, "No. We aren't gonna talk about her/him/that around me.")
Proverbs 18:24 - A man who has friends must himself be friendly; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Be the friend you want to have.)
Proverbs 20:11 - Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right. (Behavior is key, and good behavior is rewarded with privileges.)
Proverbs 22:1 - A good name is to be choses rather than great riches; loving favor rather than silver and gold. (Your name, your reputation, will follow you forever, even after you die.)
Proverbs 22:2 - The rich and the poor have this in common, the LORD is the make of the them all. (Everybody is the same. No one is better than you, and you are better than no one.)
Proverbs 25:21-22 - If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and the LORD will reward you. (Remember the Golden Rule. Show your enemy Jesus, not Satan.)
My encouragement to you as a parent is teach your child from the Word. End arguments from the Word. Stop gossip from the Word. Encourage from the Word. There are thousands upon thousands of parenting books to be purchased, but I am so thankful that we have THE ONE from God. Let us use it and not let it sit idol on our night stands.
I made a list of Scriptures from Proverbs that are pretty straight forward and are easily memorized. These were some of my favorites as I skimmed the book. I added my own commentary in parenthesis. I have more from other books, but for time purposes I am sharing just the Proverbs list. If you would like the others, leave your email in the comments and I will be happy to email them to you.
Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up strife but love covers all sins. (Always wear your Jesus glasses and see others with love.)
Proverbs 12:22 - Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are his delight. (Always tell the truth even when you have blame in the matter. Always.)
Proverbs 12:26 - The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Choose godly friends, not just popular friends.)
Proverbs 13:20 - He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. (Be careful who your friends are.)
Proverbs 15:3 - The eyes of the LORD are in every place, watching what on the evil and the good. (Momma will find out the truth!)
Proverbs 16:25 - There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. (You can have fun without compromising your faith and without breaking the rules. I promise!)
Proverbs 17:5 - He who mocks the poor reproaches his maker; He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. (Don't you DARE make fun of someone who appears to have less than you do. AND When someone gets in trouble, I would not advise smiling and rejoicing. It could be you next!)
Proverbs 17:14 - The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore, stop the contention before the quarrel starts. (Be the one who says, "No. We aren't gonna talk about her/him/that around me.")
Proverbs 18:24 - A man who has friends must himself be friendly; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Be the friend you want to have.)
Proverbs 20:11 - Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right. (Behavior is key, and good behavior is rewarded with privileges.)
Proverbs 22:1 - A good name is to be choses rather than great riches; loving favor rather than silver and gold. (Your name, your reputation, will follow you forever, even after you die.)
Proverbs 22:2 - The rich and the poor have this in common, the LORD is the make of the them all. (Everybody is the same. No one is better than you, and you are better than no one.)
Proverbs 25:21-22 - If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and the LORD will reward you. (Remember the Golden Rule. Show your enemy Jesus, not Satan.)
My encouragement to you as a parent is teach your child from the Word. End arguments from the Word. Stop gossip from the Word. Encourage from the Word. There are thousands upon thousands of parenting books to be purchased, but I am so thankful that we have THE ONE from God. Let us use it and not let it sit idol on our night stands.
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