The Exchange Club Fair

My summers growing up in Lincoln County, Mississippi, as a child consisted of playing outside all day with my cousin Kris until it was dark and time for supper. If it was raining, we would find ourselves a hidden spot inside the house somewhere we would not be interrupted by the adult in charge.  We would pedal our bikes down the paved road up to Oliver's grocery store with a dollar or two in hand around the handle bars to get us a coke and a bag of chips. Mainly, the trek was to show our independence and to kill the time of the day which seem to last forever back then. Sometimes we would get a treat and get to go the City Pool which was where the Brookhaven High School Science Building and Band Hall now sit. I think it was like 75 cents to get in for the day. But the real treat of the summer was the Exchange Club Fair.

 

Yes. The Exchange Club Fair, as small as it may seem to some, was an enormous deal to us growing up in Brookhaven, and still is. The "Fair" signaled the ending of summer and the beginning of "our Fall." It meant back-to-school and new clothes. Going to the Fair meant you get to reunite with all friends because remember we did not have cell phones and internet back then. We were not in constant communication as kids are these days. The Fair meant you got to see who grew up over the summer or who "grew some" over the summer maybe I should say. The Fair meant scoping out your new love for the upcoming school year. It meant wearing your "best summer outfit" to try to impress the possible choice as well.

 

The Exchange Club Fair was always the same, yet new year after year. The smell of the burgers cooking over the open grill and the smoke filling the midway as you pushed your way through the crowd. The cotton candy machine, always on the end. The same old games on the midway...the dunking booth, wheel of fortune, balloon darts, the basketball throw, the grab bag, the milk jugs, and the ping pong gold fish game where the fish would live only until you got home.

 

We would stand in line for what seemed like hours to ride the tilt-a-whirl and beg Mr. Pete with loud screams to make it go faster. And if you had a "date" for the night, you could only hope the old ferris wheel that was found on the side of the road would break down while you were stuck on top. The sound of it slowly starting off and as it got faster and faster it would eventually smooth out like the sound of wind. Speaking of wind, it felt so wonderful to drift over the top to get that cool breeze on those sultry August nights. The breeze was the best reason to ride the swings, too. Well, that and to try to touch the tree tops as your swing that you had twisted up as tightly as you could rapidly unfolded.

 

The roller coaster, made just for short people I think, would beat you plum to death and almost send you to the hospital with whip lash. Yet, we still played along and raised our arms and hands with the hills and screamed like we were scared. Oh, and just walking by the haunted house trailer and hearing the blasted buzzer go off would scare the bejesus out of me! That was another place, though, that you would want to go with your date, too! It was dark and creepy, but you were happy to get out of there even if you did have a date. The swans, or the frolic as some might call them, were my favorite, too. You had the choice of you and your partner turning the wheel so fast that you could make yourselves sick, or you could sit back, relax, and enjoy the view for a moment.

 

The sound of the train whistle could be heard almost all the way down Brookway Boulevard during the week of the Fair. If you had been on exile in the desert and forgotten that it was fair time, the whistle would remind you. Every child in Brookhaven has ridden on those primary colored wooden box cars around the Exchange Club and waved at the fairgoers and the parents in the cars picking up their children at the assigned time. Another right of passage for every Lincoln County child is riding the carousel at the Fair. I mean, you just have to. It is one of the prettiest there ever was if I have to say so myself. Every little boy and girl must wave to mom and dad from the top of the horse of his or her choosing. It is a must.

 

The Exchange Club Fair is still the same, except for a couple of things. The haunted house is no longer there but instead has a new eatery serving sausage dogs and other fair foods. There is a new ride behind it as well. A few of the games I remember as a child are no longer there, like the coke bottle ring toss, and now they serve funnel cakes. Bingo is still being played under the pavilion but the sweet little couple that dressed alike are sadly no longer with us. The Lincoln County 4-H still shows the livestock and you still drive around the one-way circle until you find a good park.

 

Kick-off for the fair is this Saturday night. I imagine it will be just as always. The same sounds and same smells as always. The older generation will sit on the benches and watch in awe as the young ones walk by in today's newest and skimpiest fashions. The teenagers will group up in their cliques and talk about who's who and who's not. Love birds will hold hands for the first time and class clowns will rock the ferris wheel seats as high as they possible can. I cannot wait! I am ready for a fair burger and a funnel cake!

 

What are some of your best Exchange Club Fair memories?

Don't Bring That Mess Home

"School days. School days. Good ole golden school days." I can remember my momma singing this when it was getting time for school each year. Naturally, I have tortured my children with the same nagging tune, too. As parents it is one of the few luxuries we get. My momma never really told me if she was excited about school starting back each year, or at least I have no memory of her talking about it. But I know I was excited! I could not wait for the next school year to begin because that meant I got nine months of friends and a social life outside of my house walls! Around my house, when it came to school, I was on my own. I did my own thing. I did my own homework. I made my own schedules. I did it all, except for before I had my driver's license and needed momma to drive me somewhere. To me, it was nine months of freedom. To momma, well, I'm not sure what it meant to her.

 

We as parents get nine months of school, homework, ballgames, and endless chauffeuring, but we also get nine months of hard life teaching with our teaching kids. I have tried to do my best through the years to always play devil's advocate when it comes to my kids. When they come complaining about a friend or a teacher, usually my first question is "what did you do to cause this?" or "what was your part in this?" Without saying so, it drove them crazy because they thought I was immediately taking the other side. I just like to know the whole story before I start accusing another child or giving advice, the wrong advice. That's the legal side in me. Knowing all sides of the story is important. It saves you from having to eat crow pie when you have confronted another parent accusing her child of saying something when it was your child that picked the fight in the first place.  Most always it turns out that my girls have not been totally innocent in the situation as their little hearts would have like to have believed. Imagine that. Teaching opportunity for them. Learning opportunity for me. Actually, most of my learning came from experiences with Shelli's friendships. Now I get to apply them to Marli and learn some more I expect.

 

My girls are no stranger to hardship and heart ache. Reminding them that every person has her own story is usually not hard to explain. I have tried to teach them that the reason someone is acting the way she is may possibly because of what is happening in her life at home. She just may not be telling you the story. She may be embarrassed. She may be too hurt. She may be too scared to tell anyone. You never know. Basically, I have tried to teach compassion to my girls and to the little ones coming up. Because after all, we want compassion shown to us, right?

 

Marli is entering the eighth grade this year, and I am not looking forward to all the complex problems she will face. I see her growing in her relationship with Christ, though, so I am looking forward to the teachable moments I am going to have with her. I have tried to get a good list going of "ready-to-use Scripture" to have on hand to stop yip-yapping in its tracks. I told her that I do not want her to bring that home this year. Those things are better left outside our door, as are most things. I know with her having a phone this will be impossible to monitor totally, but at least in our conversations, we will discuss it and end it, and hopefully she will leave the conversation having heard something to make her grow.
 
I made a list of Scriptures from Proverbs that are pretty straight forward and are easily memorized. These were some of my favorites as I skimmed the book. I added my own commentary in parenthesis. I have more from other books, but for time purposes I am sharing just the Proverbs list. If you would like the others, leave your email in the comments and I will be happy to email them to you.
 
Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up strife but love covers all sins. (Always wear your Jesus glasses and see others with love.)
Proverbs 12:22 - Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are his delight. (Always tell the truth even when you have blame in the matter. Always.)
Proverbs 12:26 - The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Choose godly friends, not just popular friends.)
Proverbs 13:20 - He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. (Be careful who your friends are.)
Proverbs 15:3 - The eyes of the LORD are in every place, watching what on the evil and the good. (Momma will find out the truth!)
Proverbs 16:25 - There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. (You can have fun without compromising your faith and without breaking the rules. I promise!)
Proverbs 17:5 - He who mocks the poor reproaches his maker; He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. (Don't you DARE make fun of someone who appears to have less than you do. AND When someone gets in trouble, I would not advise smiling and rejoicing. It could be you next!)
Proverbs 17:14 - The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore, stop the contention before the quarrel starts. (Be the one who says, "No. We aren't gonna talk about her/him/that around me.")
Proverbs 18:24 - A man who has friends must himself be friendly; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Be the friend you want to have.)
Proverbs 20:11 - Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right. (Behavior is key, and good behavior is rewarded with privileges.)
Proverbs 22:1 - A good name is to be choses rather than great riches; loving favor rather than silver and gold. (Your name, your reputation, will follow you forever, even after you die.)
Proverbs 22:2 - The rich and the poor have this in common, the LORD is the make of the them all. (Everybody is the same. No one is better than you, and you are better than no one.)
Proverbs 25:21-22 - If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and the LORD will reward you. (Remember the Golden Rule. Show your enemy Jesus, not Satan.)

My encouragement to you as a parent is teach your child from the Word. End arguments from the Word. Stop gossip from the Word. Encourage from the Word. There are thousands upon thousands of parenting books to be purchased, but I am so thankful that we have THE ONE from God. Let us use it and not let it sit idol on our night stands.

 

Angels Among Us

WARNING: Dear Friends and Family, If you are embarrassed by me and Keith airing it on social media, the Piggly Wiggly still has paper bags for you to put over you head. This is the way we minister, by being transparent. Our lives are an open book, even the ugly parts.

 

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another." Romans 12:9-10

If I could say one thing about this week it is that it has been beyond crazier than our crazy normal! It has been a full time job chauffeuring Keith and Marli to and from softball practices and doctors appointments (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday).  Keith cannot be left alone because of the seizures so we have to make sure he is being "watched" at all times. I had to go to Jackson this week for my treatment. The little babies have been in tow, along with Keith, watching movies while in the car and playing in the dirt at the softball complex. Aubri, meanwhile, decides this week, of all weeks, that she wants to potty like a big girl. So, we have pottied in parking lots, on the grass and at all available restrooms. Of course, Cooper still goes where he pleases regardless of where we are and who is around. Just hustle, hustle, hustle.

 

Behind the scenes this week, though, we have had some very rough times, and I have scuffed the bottom rocks quite a few times. To begin, Keith had his MRI's of his shoulder and brain and also his EEG. The praise is that there are no tumors causing these seizures of his, which are at least two a day at this point. His EEG showed "strong epileptic waves".  For now, until we can see a neurologist sometime in August, his problem is being labeled "epilepsy unspecified." As for his shoulder, he is doing a little therapy to reduce the swelling, but it will need an operation. We just do not know if the plan is to scope it or cut it.

 

We are fine with all the medical and health issues. The hard issues are the financial issues. (Warning: Here comes the ugly that may embarrass some.) One of the worst this week was being turned away at the doctor's office because we did not have the money for the co-pay. Yeah. Really. You know, you don't have insurance, they won't see you. Then you work hard to have insurance, and they still won't see you. I cannot tell you how devastating and embarrassing it was to pack up the kids and walk out of that office, knowing how important it was that your husband get the medical care he needed. I can only imagine what it did to him as a husband, as father, as a man. But praise be to God that there were angels among us who made it happen so that he could get the medical care he needed and now he is at least on medicine for the seizures until he gets checked out by the neurologist.

 

I have watched Keith suffer in such agony and pain since July 8th, much more so than when he had his heart attacks. Those were over and done with in a blink of an eye, but this is lingering pain, not to mention what came on Wednesday. I took Keith by the office in order that he could update his boss on what all was going on with his health and all the work he was working on at home. Because I have to drive Keith, I just went in and sat in the office while they talked. I overheard two men trying to do the best they could to do the right thing in this matter...one trying to be a godly employer and friend, and the other trying to be a godly husband, father, and provider for his family hanging on with everything he had to his job. We left. Of course, I was crying and slinging snot from one side of the car to the other. I told Keith that he had to trust me on this. He had to leave his job on faith. He has been out three weeks now and his working from home was not benefitting anyone. It was causing undue stress on everyone at the office and him. His boss was too good of a man to tell him that. So, as of today, Friday, Keith is no longer employed. His boss has been angel among us for almost four and a half years now.

 

My children have had to hear the word "no" about getting things they want more times than I would like to count. My heart hurts to tell them no, even though if I had the money I would never give them everything they want, but I would like to say "yes", just sometimes. Well, it is school time which means t-shirt time, school supply time, backpack time, new shoes time, school clothes time, etc. According to my check book "ain't nobody got time fo dat!"  God has His school time angels in play because school supplies will be handled. T-shirts have been purchased. School and college is going to be okay because of angels that I love. Some I know; some I do not know. Certainly, there are angels among us.

 

Thursday, treatment day, is MY day. Sadly enough, I look forward to my Thursdays even though I get poked and prodded and infused. It means I get girl time with my driver, Leslie, and usually I get to eat at least one meal without a child climbing on me. This last treatment was different. I was busy on my phone almost the entire time responding to encouraging text messages and Facebook posts from my friends, my angels. I was being showered with love and prayer and scripture when I needed it most. God sent angels to lift me up. Our angel Pawpaw Robert came and babysat and did the chauffeuring while I was away. One angel named Robyn even cooked my family the best poppy seed chicken I have ever eaten.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15 

I have been so broken this week, and usually I am not. Leslie said the whole time she has known me she has never heard me cry out loud...until this week. Everything seems to be happening at once to me. I have one baby moving to college. I have one baby with issues I will not discuss here. I have one baby, my last baby, potty training. Keith is having random seizures. Surgery for his shoulder looms overhead. Now no income. Life is happening, and I have not been able to wrap my mind around it as fast as it has been happening this week. I hopped on the lawn mower this evening to cut the grass and to slow my thoughts down.

 

(Another disclaimer: I do apologize if this sounds like complaining or a pity party because it is not. I only tell you these things in order that God may get the glory for the great things He has done.)

 

At times this week I have felt so alone, and I have cried out to God in tears and in anger. But I can do that because He cares for me. He is there for me, and He knows my thoughts and He knows my heart's desires and longings. He knows I love Him and I will serve Him no matter what comes my way. He lets me "get it out." He is that kind of Father. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. He knew I needed my angels especially this week. He prompted them at the exact times I needed someone. Yes, indeed, there are angels among us.

A Peden Angel says, "Here we go again."



Take Out Da Noise! I'm In A Funk!

If I hear "Momma" one more time today, well, I'm still momma! Today just like any other day has been filled with noise, nothing but noise. I woke up to the phone ringing informing me what the Dish guy would be here for installation. Naturally, that woke the rest of the household up. All  throughout the day, the cries of the little ones, the TV noise, the dogs barking, the rumbling of the teenager's music upstairs, Marli screaming for me because Keith had a seizure, sounds of the town when I was doing errands. Sometimes you just notice every little thing.

"Then the apostles gathered to Jesus and told Him all things, both what they had done and what they had taught. And He said to them, "Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. So they departed to a deserted place in the boat by themselves." Mark 6:30-32

 

My head is full of noise. It seems anything and everything is twenty decibels of what is naturally possible. I don't want to hear the sound of the dryer kicking off letting me know the one millionth load of laundry is done. I don't want to hear footsteps. I don't want to hear music, the teenager's or any other kind for that matter. I don't want to hear voices. And yes, I'm including real voices and the ones in my head. Judge if you must. I don't want hear anything! Well, okay, maybe two things...either Publisher's Clearing House telling me I have won $5,000 a week for a lifetime or Gabriel's trumpet.

 

Can anybody testify with me? There is so much noise in our worlds, and for me, at least, sometimes it pushes me to my limits. I just want the noise to go away and to be in complete silence. Sometimes running away is such a tempting idea.  A counselor told me one time that when there is too much noise that I need to find my "happy place." He said just for thirty seconds or longer if the situation would allow. I think basically this is the new twist on "count backwards from 100." It could be any place, whether I've been there or not. I have a few. During the day, when it sounds like I am surrounded by jackhammers, I go the beach to drown out the noise. I close my eyes and hear the waves coming and going. I smell the salty air. I don't even mind the annoying sea gulls because their sounds confirm that I am a wonderful place. 

 

When my voice cannot be heard above everyone else's, I go to the shores of Galilee and sit and talk with Jesus. It is one of the most calming places I go. It's just me, Jesus, and the quiet sounds of the sea. Occasionally we do a little star gazing and He tells me the story of how each one was created. He reminds me of all that He has taught me, and that He never leaves me. We talk for a minute or two and He sends me back to my job. I go here often when I just need a break. Not because my world is swirling in chaos, but because I just need a rest. When I can go outside and watch the kids play, this gives me a minute to visit the shore and catch up with Jesus on prayer requests and some Word. One of my favorites.

 

Now, when I'm scared and shaking in my boots, I go straight to the throne. I put on my puppy dog eyes and ask my Daddy if I can sit in His lap for a while. He never says no. He picks me and holds so tenderly like a loving father would. He lets me sit in His lap and cry it all out. He consoles me and assures me that He has everything in control. As long as it takes me, He holds me and hums sweet melodies in my ear. He wipes my tears away, and if one falls, He catches it in His hand. Mmmmm, works every time for me. I've been going to throne more often lately with all the fear that I have with Keith having these seizures and the financial consequences we are going to face. He reminds  that He has everything in His hands. As a matter of fact, I should look to see where I am at that moment.

"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

Hebrews 4 gives us this invitation, a very hefty invitation to visit the throne, with boldness and confidence. You see, we are not be afraid of approaching this throne. This High Priest as it states is one of us. It states in ALL points he was tried and tested, so nothing will embarrass Him and nothing will make him call you names. It states there in the text there is mercy to be had and that there is grace to help us in the time of need. Well, I need a lot of both and Imma going to get me some of it. Who's wit me?

 

It may sound like the "happy places" are a figment of my imagination, but I assure they are real. That beach is real. I lived there once. It is a precious memory that I hold on to so that I can live there again one day. The shores of Galilee are real, and Jesus did sit there and talk with his friends, his disciples. I'm just photo cropping myself in two thousand years later. And His throne, oh, you better believe He's on it. And we as believers have the luxury of going there any time we need to. He is just waiting on us to come to him. And from what I understand, the invitation is being underused so I don't have problems with reservations. It's a walk-ins welcome gig right now.

 

Tonight I am throne-bound. I have a ton of worries that I need to cry out and I need to be held a little bit by my Daddy. I am in desparate need of his mercy and grace. I need someone to tell me it's going to be "okay" and that He is going to handle it all. I need my Daddy to be there for ME, the one HE chose, and show me love I need and to make this old world disappear for just a little while.

"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and you will learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  Matthew 11: 28-30

There's a Reason That Bunny is Pink

Whew! For mommas it just never ends, no matter what life is throwing it at ya. Don't yell me for leaving those dandy dads out, I know some push to the edge, too. I'm speaking from a momma's heart, from my heart.

 

Before you are a mom, you think about you and your husband. I can look back now and see how easy life was before our first child, Shelli, entered our lives. (There is no regret in that statement. DON'T hear what I'm NOT saying!) We could hop in the car and go wherever we wanted to go and whenever the urge hit. When we lived in Gulfport, we could come home on a whim. The packing was much easier, and it was tremendously cheaper to eat out with just the two of us. I'm not just talking McDonalds either. We could even eat a "fork" meal without breaking the bank. You know, the kind of meal where you actually have to use a utensil, like Captain D's or even better, a buffet, like Ryan's.  Hey! Don't judge. Those were fancy to us back in the day.

 

But then one child, then two, entered the picture. Life changed dramatically. Just making a Wal-Mart run was an act of Congress. Now, I had to actually make sure two other people stayed alive and hopefully made it to adulthood. I had to decide what to feed them, and what they had to wear. I had to make sure they were healthy and were safely in bed in each night. I had to make sure they got some kind of education and that they were safe getting that education. Oh my! And I still had to make all those decisions for me, and Keith, and work, and do this, and do that, and the so many other things that makes life happen.

 

Those were the physical things. This did not include how hard my heart was working. When I was pregnant, every single thought revolved around that precious little one inside me. I thought about that one time and was instantly overwhelmed at how I something (someone) could consume my every thought, my entire being. Only a mother can understand that, or a teenager concentrating on "the one!" My heart was working equally as hard as my body. It was just as exhausting to love these children God gave to me as it was to care for them. I woke up with them on my mind and went to bed with them on my mind. Most every spare moment was filled with thoughts about Shelli and Marli. I would worry and cry. I would remember and smile. I would remember the messes and get frustrated all over again. Oh, being a mother was so hard.

 

Then, there came Cooper, my blond-haired, blue-eyed boy blessing! Two years later, here came the do-over of Shelli, little Aubri K'Ceal. If you lost count, this makes four! Not six, eight, and certainly not 19 and counting, but four! I just thought life was busy. During all the years we had plenty of life changes and challenges, but the greatest challenge for me as a mother came after Aubri was born.

 

I was diagnosed with a very rare blood disorder called atypical hemolytic syndrome. She was barely eight weeks old when I went to the emergency room. When I dropped her off with Keith's sister, Angie, I had no idea I was leaving her for 28 days. I had no idea my children would not get to visit me in the hospital. I had no idea what I was facing. My body was enduring tremendous physical trauma, but my heart, oh my heart, was enduring so much more.

 

For the first time ever, I could not care for them. I had to entrust them to others. I mean totally entrust them to others. Think about this as a mother for a moment...you know this is your last "baby." You are already mourning and cherishing every "first last" moment with this child. Then to leave her, when every single day her face will change and she will learn to coo and to make different expressions. You mothers know what I'm talking about if you have already had your "last baby."  Aubri was just part of the picture. Shelli got braces. I had to decide on homeschool curriculum for the older kids. Cooper just knew he missed mommy and daddy.

 

You know what? I had to keep going. God provided me the strength to get through it all, physically and mentally. He did not allow my thoughts to stay in those dark places. He pushed me through and made me focus on the job I had to do. And that was being a mother no matter what was thrown at me. I stayed in the Word, mostly Psalms and Philippians, and listened to praise music to fill my thoughts so I would not drift away where Satan would want me to go. (This is not true of me 100% of the time. I am human. This is simply testimony of those 28 days.) The following I can testify is true:

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things. The things on which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8

We are approaching the two year anniversary of my diagnosis so you can count on more blogs about aHUS and our life since then. But for now, my focus is perseverance as a mother. We just don't get breaks. "Me time" is really non-existent. When you become mom, you become theirs, and "your time" is their time. No matter how many spills happen before 7:30 in the morning, no matter how many times you hear your name called out during the day, no matter how many loads of laundry you have to wash, you must keep going. When you are running a fever of 103.5 and are puking your guts out all over bathroom floor that hasn't been mopped in weeks because you have been the taxi cab for your children and the chef for them and all their friends, you still have to keep pushing through and get up and go again. No matter what life comes your way, you keep going!

 

You might have the greatest husband in the world. You might also have a terrific support system around you to help out with those daily tasks and some baby sitting every now and then in order for you to take off for "mental health" days. But mothers never really take a day off. Even when they are thousands of miles away the mind still organizes their children's days and their hearts wonder if there is a bobo to kiss and make better. Mothers keep going, and going, and going, and going, and....  You know that's why that little bunny is pink, huh?

"She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships. She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength , and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches her out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hands to the poor, yet she reaches out her hand to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." Proverbs 31:13-28

This woman was busy, y'all. She worked, crafted, cooked, exercised, sewed...she did it all. She gives me many goals to set. Except, I've tried to the sewing and my fingers just won't do it, so I can scratch that one off the list!  And yet apparently, she had plenty of time for her family because her husband and her children love her to death. I pray my family can say the same things about me even though I can barely sew a button on a shirt! I praise God that He gave me strength to keep going when I had none on my own. I praise God that in Him I can find more when I need it!

You know what they say about assume...

I would like to share a story with you if you don't mind. I promise it is a short one. It goes like this...

 

There was once two guys who had been friends since grade school. They spent countless hours together on ball fields and got into more trouble than two friends ever should. They graduated high school together, roomed together in college, and were even room mates after college for a little while.

 

Eventually, each of the guys moved on with his life only catching up a "big life events". One of the friends married his college sweet heart. They moved back home, got into church, and started their family. He became the definition of a godly man and father. His wife and children adored him, and he had much respect in the community.

 

The other friend, well, he lived life in the fast lane. He had a high-dollar career, went to every a-list party there was, and could have any woman he wanted. He, however, was lonely and empty. He had no friends of value and his family had little contact with him. His life had no meaning.

 

Ironically, the two friends were home for a mutual friend's funeral and they went out for dinner afterwards to catch up on life together. On the way home, they were in a car accident and they were both killed instantly. The first friend, the one with the family, had accepted Jesus as his Savior and he went to Heaven. The second, sadly, had not and he went to hell. Just before the first friend entered the gates of Heaven, he looked down and saw into the pits of hell. He saw the horror, the flames, and he heard the screaming and tormented souls. But above all the screaming he heard a familiar voice, his friend's voice. His friend was crying to him saying, "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me about Jesus? Please, if you ever cared about me, please go make sure my family knows! I don't want them to ever see this place. It's the most horrific place you could ever imagine! The sound is deafening! I'm so thirsty. So thirsty. Please go tell them. Hurry!" The first friend was devastated when he realized what he had done, or more so what he had not done. He crumbled at the gates and sobbed.

 

You see, not once in their entire friendship did they ever discuss Jesus. The first friend just assumed the other knew. I mean, they grew up in the same town, right? They went to the same church, the same vacation Bible school, church camps, Bible. Why didn't Friend #2 know? Was he not listening? He was paying attention to Satan and his attempts to distract him. He chose not to listen. We can never, NEVER, assume that our best friends, our family, knows the Gospel. Never assume anyone knows about Jesus. If you share with them and they are a believer, or if they have heard, then consider it practice for the next person you share with. Just share!

 

"There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fated sumptuously every day. But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus full of sores, who was laid at his gate desiring to be with crumbs which fell from the rich man's table. Moreover, the dogs came and licked his sores. So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. And being in torment in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

Then he cried and said, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flam. But Abraham said, Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things, but now he is comforted and you are tormented. And besides all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed, so that those who want to pass from here to you cannot, nor can those from there pass to us.'

Then he said, 'I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father's house for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.' Abraham said to him, 'They have Moses and the prophets, let them hear them.; And he said, 'No, father Abraham, but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.' But he said to him, 'If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded through one rise from the dead.'  



Guilty as Charged! (Part Deux)

I sure hope the last blog post resonated with you, even if just a little bit. Better yet, I hope it challenged you. A missionary (I'm not sure if I can name him or not for security purposes) in our class challenged us to share the Gospel with at least one person each week. So, I issue that same challenge to you. Pray for those opportunities. You will be astonished who God will place before you if you are willing to be His hands and feet.

 

Now, on to "Part Deux."

 

Sometimes sharing the Gospel with a perfect stranger is as difficult as "a camel passing through the eye of a needle", but for some, when comparing sharing with a stranger to sharing with a family member, it is like giving candy to kid. Family is the most difficult to share with, I believe, for a number of reasons.  Personal example. Apparently, in Keith's high school days he had quite the reputation of being a wild one. Then we met up and got married and he settled down, or slowed down, for a little bit. After a while, old feathers started ruffling and he began to fly again. Then, once he met God, like for real this time, not just a "VBS raise my because everybody else is" kind of salvation, it was hard for people, family, even me, mostly to change their view of him and to accept anything he had to say about Jesus seriously. He tried to share but the skepticism was still present. Poor thing even went to Baptist seminary because he knew God had a call on his life to minister to others and people (family) still would not take him seriously. Why? Because they could not let go of who they knew him to be pre-Jesus. Shelli and Marli still have a hard time giving him authority on biblical matters because of who he used to be.  ***Side note this if free. Let's remember that because Jesus and His Almighty has saved you and has wiped your slate clean, does not mean that these earthly beings can do the same as easily. This is part of the consequences of sin. You must wait on the acceptance and forgiveness. Sorry. You did the crime. You pay the time.

"But Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country and in his own house." Now He did not do many mighty works there because of their unbelief." Matthew 13:57

 

Sometimes it is so hard for us ourselves to let go of our pre-Jesus selves that others will never see the post-Jesus in us. I'm not saying that is the case with Keith, but it is true a lot of the time. Hang-ups are what I'm talking about. Some feel that even though they have been worth the King of King's death on a cross that they are still not worthy to tell of the wondrous story He gave them. Some are still hanging on to a bit of pride that they cannot get past telling that old drinking buddy what Jesus did for them by saving their marriage and family. Some can't get past the what they think others think of them. Some are like Moses and claim the "I can't talk right" excuse. Excuses are endless...afraid of public speaking, afraid of strangers, lack of knowledge of Scriptures..... It ain't rocket science. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid you are going to mess up the Gospel?

 

Let me tell you that you cannot mess it up. It is all the work of the Holy Spirit when salvation is involved. You could speak French with a wad of peanut butter in your mouth and a Spaniard would understand if the Holy Spirit is calling him to salvation! We are just God's tools. We have to get past us and understand it is nothing we do! It is all the work of the Holy Spirit! We give ourselves way to much credit on this salvation business.

 

Or maybe it is that you are one of the one's afraid of rejection? No one likes to get told no, right? Again. They are not denying YOU. They are denying Jesus Christ. Please humble yourself for a split second and realize that first, the Gospel is about sharing Jesus with a soul who will spend eternity in Hell if he does not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and become His disciple. You are no where in that equation. You are written in the Lamb's Book of Life. (I assume. If not please contact me, I will come to you.)

"He must increase. I must decrease." John 3:30

All we are called to do is plant the seed. The harvest may be ours to see and reap, or it may not. We live in this Western culture where if we do the work, we want to see the results, AND get the credit for it. Well, God does not work that way. He allows us to be a part of HIS work and HE gets ALL the glory and credit. And because we love Him, we delight in seeing His work being accomplished. We delight in doing His work.  

"I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart." Psalm 40:8

I have watched ones like Keith come out of his past and never hold back to share the Gospel with anyone and everyone. I have watched in awe those with the gift of evangelism like Judy, a dear friend of mine, who can witness the Gospel to someone probably better than Jesus himself could. I have watched children sharing and elderly sharing. Ms. Josie from Kenner is so sweet and if you ever meet her your chances of going to Heaven just tripled. Seeing someone sharing the Gospel is an awesome thing. But to actually be a part of it, well, it is even awesomer! Yeah, I know. So what on the grammar. For someone to really understand that she is totally loved no matter what she has done, or what has been done to her, and to see tears of pure joy trickle out of her eyes, and to hear her say, "Thank you for sharing with me." That's one of those earthly gifts that is priceless that I am pretty positive I may get to carry with me to Heaven.

 



Guilty as Charged!

Sundays are refreshing to me, well, once we finally get to church after the chaos of getting dressed, deliver the kiddos to their Sunday school classes, and hike it up to the Sunday school room and pick out chair to sit down and breathe!  In our Sunday school we are going through Corinthians, so you normally know what the lesson is going to be about but it is always fresh and we always have an enjoyable time. And I'm always anxious to hear what Bro. Greg is going to preach on and what little snip-it he is going to get in about his Georgia Bulldogs. But today, our regular teacher was out and Stan filled in (great job, by the way) and we had a lesson about sharing the Gospel. Bro. Greg's sermon was also about the Gospel as well.

 

In Sunday school, Stan had us break up into paired groups and gave us instructions to sum up our testimony into one minute. The purpose being in mind that we need to be prepared for that brief interaction with a stranger to share Jesus and the Gospel with them. We may only have a minute or two and then that moment or person may disappear from our life forever.

 

Anyway, after a few laughs here and there, we paired off and got on our daunting tasks of summing up God in one minute. Do you know how difficult that is? One minute passes like molasses while you are waiting on the stop light to turn to green, but when you are trying to share the Gospel in less that one minute it passes like a flash of lightning! Stan started the timer and stopped it when it got to sixty seconds. I was almost finished when he said stop. Rats! I so wanted to get 'er done!

 

We then had an open discussion on what is the best way to share the Gospel? Some of the answers included: "live a good life"..."live it out"..."know Scripture"..."share your miracle"... All great answers. But how do you live out a good life to a stranger that is in your life for just that one brief moment? Another point brought up, so many religions make a point that "living a good life" is the way to the after life. And anybody can quote Scripture, right? The Jehovah Witnesses do, and better than we (Baptists and evangelical Christians) do might I add.

 

So, exactly what is "the" Gospel? Most are taught John 3:16 at a very early age in these parts. You know it by heart. I can just hear my younger VBS self reciting that to get a sticker on my memory verse completion chart. John 3:16 is great. I mean, Jesus said it himself. This memory verse that we most often learn tells us the benefits of believing the Gospel.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

The Gospel is a set of facts that MUST believed in order to gain that everlasting life. You cannot believe just one of them. You must believe ALL them. You must believe that God sent his son, Jesus to earth. Jesus was born of the virgin Mary. Jesus was sent to pay the debt for all mankind's sin. And to pay that debt, He (Jesus) was crucified on a cross, buried in a borrowed grave, and yes, rose from the dead three days later.

"For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures, and that He was seen by Cephas, then by the twelve.  After that He was seen by over five hundred brethren at once, of whom the greater part remain to the present, but some have fallen asleep.  After that He was seen by James, then by all the apostles. The last of all He was seen by me also, as by one born out of due time." 1 Corinthians 15:3-8

Now, if you are a believer, I ask you, "how many times have you shared this story?" In the South, we are taught to "you preach your funeral everyday" and "people are watching." Are we using this as a cop-out for not actually sharing the Gospel? If God sent a jury down, what would your verdict be? Mine? Guilty as charged! I am not a confrontational person. I do NOT like to jump into a person's business as much as I like knowing it. I prefer to build a relationship, and then ask the question about her eternal destination. But you know what, I don't always have days, months or years to do that. I think Keith said it best when he said, "You don't need a seminary degree to share your testimony. This should be the easiest thing you ever say because it's the greatest thing that ever happened to you."

 

I praise God for my gift of salvation. I praise God for my testimony (though, honestly, between you and me, I would have picked out an easier story to play out on my life...lol).

 

 

 



Smile, Honey Child!

My most favorite person in the world, my Uncle Aubrey, loves to go to Wal-Mart and sit on the benches and just watch people. A lot of the "old men" in town do this to pass the time. They sit and talk and while, and sometimes chat with you on your way out the door. Uncle Aubrey says he would much rather just sit and watch than talk. I think I would, too.

This brings me to my thoughts, have you noticed how unpleasant people's faces are today? Have you noticed that people rarely smile, and if they do, it is just long enough to get past you and then it is back to the frown or look of discontentment. Some don't even give you the complimentary exercise of the facial muscle that makes the corner of the lips point upward. Right about now you should be saying, "Yeah, she's right. Nobody smiles anymore." I mean, cashiers rarely smile even while forced to recite a greeting. And if you have ever sat in a choir or have been in front of a congregation, you know for sure they don't smile.

 

Next thought, do YOU smile enough? Do you do your part? More importantly, do you smile enough at home? Do you smile at your kids, at your husband, wife? I do not. I have to make conscience effort to smile. I am not one of those people who just naturally smile. Some people are. I am not.

"I will praise, You, O Lord, with my whole heart. I will tell of all Your marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in You. I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2

My daddy raised me in beauty pageants and he always had someone telling me something new. I remember one lady telling me "how to smile." She said, "Now, Melissa. Smiling is not just about smiling with your lips. You have to look at the judges and smile with your eyes." I took that as smile like you mean it. Smile with intent. Show interest.

 

There are enough grumpy faces in this world. For my children and my husband, I need to do better at home. I need to look and them and "smile with my eyes." They need to look at me and see something pleasant instead of the drill sergeant that I really am. Now don't get me wrong. I am certainly not going to try to be one of those moms who are smiling and gently saying, "Now Cooper. You need to get out of the road because an 18-wheeler is coming to plow you down." No. I believe in yelling! I also believe in gentleness, too, though.

 

As a parent, I have many more opportunities to smile at my children than I do to frown at them. What's that number? It takes ten positive comments to undo one negative comment. I think they keep changing the number. Anyway, I should be able to smile at Cooper when he is being a boy and bouncing around with energy I wish I had. I should be able to smile a Marli when she is being her and having some innocent "ah ha" instead of rolling my eyes. I should be able to smile at Keith when he walks in the door from work instead of thinking to myself, "here goes our routine." I need to re-train my thoughts in the positive. Could your thoughts use a little training and your frown use a little redirection? Man, I have a ton of work to do.

"Serve the Lord with gladness. Come before His presence with singing. Know that the Lord, He is God." Psalm 100:2

This may seem trivial, but I think it is noteworthy. Smiling is such a simple thing that I can do for my family. I can let myself get so caught up on the million things happening in my life's background that I forget to find pleasure in what God has put right before me. Sometimes I might just have to "fake it til I make it" but at least my facial muscles will get exercise, right?

Praising Him on Credit

This past Monday was very uneventful day in the lives of the Pedens. It was just the typical, run-of-the-mill, chaotic day. We "did the do". It came and went. It's over. Tuesday came with its normal crazy schedule plus a little extra of delivering Krispy Kreme donuts, getting stuck in the mud, Keith having a seizure at work, and a long evening in the emergency room.

 

This morning we were waiting for my optometrist (who is fabulous by the way) to come in for my examination and Keith looked to be in LaLa Land. "What's wrong?" I asked. He said, "I was just sitting here thinking that Monday made seven years." BOOM! My heart crumbled into a million tiny little pieces onto the floor. How could I (we) forget such an important milestone in his life? Our life? You see, Monday, July 7, 2014, marked seven years that Keith has been sober from alcohol.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

It's not that we would have thrown a party or something, well, we may have gone out to eat somewhere nice if we had a little extra, but it's just that we overlooked an important turning point in our lives. That date, July 7, is a date to be celebrated and testified about in order that God gets the glory for doing what ONLY He can do. We don't ever want to take for granted Keith's sobriety and the freedom he has from the bond of Satan and alcohol.

 

God was merciful and took that bondage away from Keith and from our family. The power Satan had over Keith was incredible. It destroyed our lives. Keith lost jobs. We lost a beautiful house, not a home, because "home" was hell. Our two oldest girls' lives were cut into bits and pieces and shattered and left to be picked up by whoever was willing. But there was a Savior who wanted our family together and did not let Satan win. It was all God. And it was all God's timing.

"The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger, and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works. All Your works shall praise You, O Lord, and your saints shall bless You." Psalm 145:8-10

To borrow from my classmate and longtime friend, Kedria, we are "praising Him on credit." We will never be able to praise God enough for what He did in Keith's life.  To know him then and to know him now is to know two different people, almost. (Addicts are basically the same when the addiction is taken away, just minus the addiction plus some new life techniques and hopefully Jesus.) To know our family then and to know us now, well, is certainly two different families. There has been much healing with much healing to do. There has been two precious additions from above, and yes, there has been more trials (with triumphs) for which He gets all the glory. We praise Him for so much that He has done and that is continuing to do.  We owe everything to God and His perfect plan.

 

 



I am Momma! Hear me roar!

Up at 6:30 a.m. to take the husband to work because the second vehicle is on the outs. Come back to make myself and the little kids a couple of fried eggs and toast for breakfast. Cooper is putting on his "football" shoes to go outside and play but there are knots in them so this ensues a fit. Don't worry. Momma fixes it. Aubri looses her drink and pa pa (paci). Momma distracts her. Breakfast is ready. Coop actually eats. Momma and Aubri sit down to share, and Aubri spits egg out everywhere! Okay. Moving on. Breakfast over. Coop and Aubri are playing, well, big brother is bullying little sister around like none other. Momma trying to get some Bible time in for the day. Aubri decides she wants her drink which no one can find. Up and down Momma goes trying to keep some calm in the house while she tries to read. No sign of sippie cup so Momma gets another. Aubri decides she wants in Mommas lap. Okay. Cooper decides he wants "coke" instead of the "koolaid" Momma fixed him. This begins the fit that he is currently throwing right now in the middle of the floor screaming, " I WANT COKE!!!!!" Aubri is still climbing all over Momma even though Momma relocated to the couch. Momma is TIRED!

 

Does this sound familiar to you? As a mom, or dad for that matter, there are a million things begging for our attention during the day. I know for me, almost each and every time that I begin clean the kitchen or vacuum the living room or do anything, a  kid catastrophe is going to happen that will interrupt me and call my attention elsewhere. This leads to the "I'm never gonna get anything done around here if you don't leave me alone" frustrated attitude from me. Spilled milk, wet diaper, "she's touching me", "that's mine".....you know the kind of stuff that really is minor in the big scheme of things but when you deal with enough of it by 9:00 a.m., it tends to be multiplied by one million and quickly becomes major in Momma World? Like just now, my hang-up organizer just fell down for the ump-tenth time!

 

Why does all this little stuff add up so quickly? I have all the "major" stuff on the brain as well. For example, the husband has nerve damage in his back and is in excruciating pain. He doesn't work...we have no income. Stress for him, stress for us. My wife heart aches for him. Another "major", oldest daughter moving to college. Momma is trying to ignore this one for now. Another, we have a fourteen-year-old. Enough said on that one. Yet another, I have an incurable blood disorder that causes many different symptoms that I don't have time to deal with because "I am Momma. Hear me roar!"

 

Those are just samples of what is going on in my life at the current time. Not everything. The point is we all have things, many, many things, big and small, that encompass our lives. And what I noticed today flipping through my Bible trying to get a Word from Jesus is that I am not prepared for the battle of the day. At one point I looked at Cooper and said, "What in the devil is wrong with you today?"  Wouldn't you know I was in the Book of Ephesians, Chapter 6. It was the devil!

 

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil . For we do not wrestle against the flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Eph. 6: 10-13

You see, I wasn't prepared for this "evil day". I did not get up and put on the whole armor of God. To tell you the truth, I just got up and didn't prepare for battle at all. Satan will use any tactic he can to get in the middle of you and God. Yes, even those precious little babies. The Kool-Aid is spilled leads to your aggravation, leads to your maybe yelling at the kids, leads to the kids crying, leads to their spirits being crushed, leads to your guilt of being a terrible parent, leads to your yelling again because your down in the dumps.....over dramatic? Maybe. But Satan is smart and tactical. And you know this scenario is certainly possible.

Don't think for one second that you can get up each day and not prepare yourself for battle with Satan. You cannot get up and fight without God and His armor. Even if there is a lull in the war on a particular day and everything is going smoothly, you still need to be prepared for an attack of Satan and his armies. This verses of scripture are well known, but commonly taken for granted.

"Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked  one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit being watchful to the end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints." Eph. 6:14-18

I praise God that He has given me this insight that I'm not fighting my children (or husband, boss, friends, or _______). He tells me right there in Ephesians that it is the dark forces that I need to be prayed up for and to be prepared to fight against during the day. Moral of the story: get up earlier than the demons and read the Battle Plan (Bible).